Catching up on all of our travels

I know I am REALLY behind on updating this so we are just going to go month by month and summarize what went on.

October

Thomas got a break from school between quarters and we got to go visit his parents that live in Vista, California. We went to Disneyland, the San Diego Zoo, and the beach while we were there. It was my first time to ever go to Disneyland and it was really cool!!! Thomas and I went on Splash Mountain and while in line I asked him if we were going to get very wet. He said we wouldn't really get wet. I asked him why so many people had rain coats and ponchos on and he just said they must not want to get wet at all, but that we would just get a little water on us. Well...I ended up in the front and let me tell you--he was NOT telling the whole truth. We got SOAKED! It dried quickly so it wasn't a big deal, but really, Thomas? The parade was really cool and Lydia loved the firewords! I hope to go back soon! Lydia loved the zoo and her favorite animal was the penguins! The beach was freezing cold but Lydia couldn't stop playing in the water. She was just having too much fun.

 She got this cat at Disneyland and loves to feed it her water. 

November
In November, we got to have Thanksgiving with my sister, Jill, in Utah. Lydia loved playing with her Aunt Jill(who spoils her) and her cousins. We even got to stop by the NICU Lydia was born at and see a bunch of her old nurses. It was really fun to be able to show her off and let them see how much progress she has made! She is doing so well!

 The lights in Layton

Lydia got to feed the goat in my sister's backyard every day. She is now obsessed with feeding animals and thinks every animal wants to eat leaves. 

Playing in the leaves at Helaman Halls! We went to the Cannon center to eat.. just like old times. Thomas and I were at Helaman halls at the same time but didn't know each other yet. Who knows how many times we crossed paths before meeting!!!

Outside the NICU, they have this bear that has a lot of the equipment they use on the babies. I think it's cool because little kids can see what their brother or sister may have on them. Anyway, Lydia saw it and immediately started working on getting that CPAP off.... just like she did with her own. multiple times. 

A very sacred place lied beyond these doors--the NICU. She kept trying to get in there like she knew where she lived for 3 months!

This is her with one of the nnps at the NICU. She loved seeing all her nurses and showing off how much she has grown and how little that sassy personality has changed!

Jack was so good with her

First time playing in snow! She called it sugar...

The day after Thanksgiving, we got to go to my niece and nephew's graves and decorate trees for them.It was very special. Lydia loved sitting between her cousins Asher and Ava. She loves them so much!

December

We went to Texas to see my family for Christmas and we got to go to the Seymour cabin for New Years!

My dad had a training in AZ so he got to come see us for a while and even got to go to the parade I was in!

She loves dumping out her drawers

Playing in the mud at grandma's

Cousins!

Coon hat

I convinced my mom to get a ball pit for the little girls to play in. They LOVED it. So did Thomas!

My grandmother broke her hip the first day on a Disney cruise. She got to stay the night with us after flying in from FL and before heading back to Vidor. Lydia loved seeing her great-grandmother!

Caroling in the matching outfits

Lydia loved playing with Uncle Stacey and the guinea pigs

Grandma reading to the girls

My best friend from back home is awesome! Her husband owns a gym and since it was the holidays, she let us go and play! Lydia had fun, but I think I had the most fun! :) I loved being back in a gym and messing around to see what skills I still have. Lydia really liked the beam and now she walks on curbs like they are beams--just like her momma! :)

The Seymour Cabin

We built a snowman at the cabin!

Lydia loves this Elmo hat. She doesn't like wearing though because she wants to see Elmo. 

Up by the cabin. I took a pretty picture!!!

Aunt Jenny

Lydia trying to sit on her car

Lydia got a tree to decorate while the older cousins were decorating gingerbread houses. She really just wanted to eat it. 

January
We didn't get any breaks in January, but we had fun anyway! Thomas and I celebrated our 26th birthdays and Lydia went to the dentist for the first time. She did very well. She has a pretty bad overbite, but at this point... who cares?

February
Thomas and I started an 8 week health challenge. You get points for doing things like eating 3 servings of vegetables, 2 serving of fruit, exercise, water, etc. It has been SO good for us. We have changed how we eat and I am finally losing the weight I have needed to lose for so long. I am pretty competitive so it has been good for me. My goal was to lose 8 pounds since the challenge is 8 weeks, I figured a lb a week was a good goal. By the end of week 3 and I had already lost 8 pounds! It has been good, but I wish the weight loss was more visible. I will definitely keep it up though. I have a LOT more to lose.

We were able to go to California to see Thomas' parents for Spring Break. We had a lot of fun going to the Wildlife park, the beach, and the children's museum. Lydia loved watching the giraffes stick out their tongues and she was in heaven with the petting zoo.

After we got back, we went to the Phoenix children's museum. It is a really neat museum! I was very impressed with how entertained Lydia was with everything. She liked painting, playing in the kitchen, and playing in the store the most.

I can't believe how quickly time has gone by. Lydia will be 2 in 2 months. It is hard to think about when she was born and how fragile she was. She has come such a long way and we are so thankful for how blessed we have been to have her in our lives.

Lydia is in a hat wearing phase right now. She is such a goof!

San Diego Wildlife Park!

The Beach!

We went on a walk and there was a swing on a tree at the end of one of the trails. It was cute to see Thomas' mom push him and Lydia in the swing! :)

San Diego children's museum

This is a random little boy that we don't know, but Lydia just felt like pushing someone. 

Liddy loves her cousins!

It was even fun for Thomas!

Totes presh adorbs

Phoenix Children's Museum

I love how happy Lydia is all the time. She makes us laugh. 

Lydia got spoiled by her aunt Jill with some dress up shoes. She is now obsessed. She wears them all the time. Any time I tell her to go get her shoes so we can go, she grabs a pair of these. She loves them so much! Thanks, Aunt Jill!

I absolutely adore this picture of Thomas and Lydia. He is such a good Daddy and he is going to be the best doctor. He is so patient, kind, and understanding. He has his priorities in order and this little girl is first. He was practicing a head to toe exam on me before his test and Lydia got jealous so he stopped the timer and listened to her tummy, too. She looks up to him and wants to be just liker her Daddy. I want her to be like him too! 

A Little More Personal

     If you didn't know me in grade school, you would probably be surprised to know that I was extremely shy to the point of not saying a single word at school. If you only knew me in grade school, you might be surprised to know that now I talk to people! It is still a struggle, but I talk to people! How did I make the transition? I'm not really sure. But here is a small part of my story:

     I don't know why I refused to talk at school. Was it because I didn't want to get in trouble? Was it because I didn't want people to get to know me and then reject me? Was it because I was afraid of being hurt? I think it may be a little of a lot of different reasons. But whatever it was, there I was. Silent.

     There were times teachers would take me aside and tell me I had to ask or answer a question or I would miss out on participation points and my grade would suffer. There were times when gymnastics coaches told my mom that if I didn't start talking, I couldn't practice anymore. There were times when the doctors would joke that they were testing my eyes and I was testing their hearing. There were times the others at school would make fun of me, talk about me when they knew I could hear them, or make a game with their friends out of trying to get me to say something.

      I wanted to talk. I wanted to be like the "normal" kids. I wanted to have friends. But I couldn't help it. Many times I was physically unable to get the words out. I'd try, but silence. If by some miracle I got the words out, they didn't sound like me. It was a total out of body experience. Like someone else was using my mouth to speak. The words felt distant. They were always extremely quiet. I hated not being able to talk normally. I hated me. I wished I could disappear just like my words had.

     I went away to college and that helped with my shyness a lot. It was a new start. No one knew me as the "weird shy girl". No one was waiting by to hear me say something so they could run to their friends and brag that they had heard "the mute" speak. Freshman year I went a little overboard being loud and crazy as I was trying to figure it all out. I have since mellowed out, but I still struggle every single day with talking to people. I hate ordering food, asking for help in a store, checking out, or any other situation where there is another human being and talking involved.

     I dread social situations. I am often stuck in my grade school mindset that no one really wants to hang out with me. I was invited a few weeks ago to meet up with some people somewhere. I got there early and the whole time I waited for others to show up, I just knew that they had invited me and were watching from somewhere else making fun of me and the fact that I had showed up--making fun of the fact that I would ever think we could be friends. Now, this wasn't true in the least, but my brain had convinced me of this by the time someone else finally showed up. I was then self conscious about every word I spoke, which is how it is most of the time.

     It is so hard to be at social functions. When I do hang out with other people, I have to prep emotionally beforehand and Thomas usually gives me pep talks to help me out. Then afterwards, I go word for word through the conversation trying to figure out what I should have said instead of what I did say or when I should have just shut up and listened. I am usually up all night regretting every single word I've said.

     There are a lot of times I just want to revert back to my non-talking self. Life would be so much easier to fade into the background again. So why don't I?  People sometimes ask the question "what is your biggest regret?" Being shy is my biggest regret. What would life be like if I had talked to people? Would I have more friends? Would I have gone further in gymnastics if I had actually talked to my teammates and coaches? Would I have been able to stand up for myself and prevent terrible things from happening to me? Would I have made a difference in someone's life? Would I be a better wife and mother?

     Thomas is the only person I have ever been able to talk to without reservation and without reviewing and critiquing each and every work I had said afterwards. Lydia has been a real help, too. She is very social and always wants to be with friends. This has been a big challenge for me and it is really hard. I am awkward. I stumble over my words, say silly things that don't relate to what the other person just said, I don't know when to leave or how to leave, I don't know when to talk and when to be quiet, and I just don't know what to say.


     I feel like I am learning now what everyone else learned in preschool--how to talk to people and make friends. It is not easy for me. It is overwhelming and it is a real struggle. I am trying, though. I am working on making eye contact. I am working on not just nodding "yes" and "no". I don't know if I will ever be comfortable in social situations, but I am trying.

     So why am I writing all this and sharing this with you? I have no idea.It's personal and embarrassing, but I felt strongly that I needed to share it. Maybe it is so I can do some healing of my own. Maybe it is so other shy people like me know they aren't alone. I'm not sure. Please just know I am trying. I am trying to be a good friend. I am trying to say the right things. I am trying not to hide like I've done my whole life.