Back to the Y!

So I am back up at BYU now. I have been doing so good at updating my blog.. haha. I'm so proud! Asia and I were Y group leaders for NSO so we came up Monday even though our apartment's move in date wasn't until Friday. I really like that we got to come earlier because we were able to get situated more and meet new people. The people in our ward our extremely nice. I was really worried about how things would be this year, but I have calmed down a lot just from meeting the people that live in our apartments. I have already done a ton of fun stuff! NSO has been really fun too. It brings back a lot of memories. I was telling the kids in our group that if they needed anything that we were here for them because both of us have been through a lot and could help them out with anything they might need. I thought about this more last night and was just reminded of how incredible God's plan is. My Bishop last year told me that I have gone through a lot more trials than most people have. I am so incredibly grateful that I have been chosen to go through so much! Even though it is really hard, I feel like I can help people because of what I have been through. I can relate to people and truly understand how they feel. It is so much easier to support people when you have been there before. It's just amazing that God puts people in our life that have been through the same trials we will have to endure. For example, I have had two siblings that are no longer active in church. I always wondered why I had to endure that pain, but now I am so grateful I have. My friend's brother is falling away and I can be here for her because I know exactly what she is going through. Trials are also awesome because they refine us. I wouldn't be the person that I am today if it weren't for the things I have been through. My testimony wouldn't be as strong if I didn't have to endure so much. A lot of times people will say that trials make your faith stronger. I don't believe that. During the times that life is easy, you need to be working on building your faith so that when trials come you can USE that faith that you have been building. Once the faith is used, you gain faith in your own faith. That is how faith strengthens. It's not that you have a trial and BAM you get faith. At least, its never worked that way for me. For some reason I have a feeling that I am about to go through something really hard so I have been working hard to strengthen my personal relationship with Christ. That is probably my biggest goal for this semester. I mean, sure I wanna do good in school and get good grades, but what I really want to do is focus on my spiritual well being. I'm not going to focus on getting good grades. Like I told my Y group, focus on the learning. We have to learn because one day we will be gods and goddesses and we will use the information for our own worlds. We need to learn for the eternal perspective, not just for the grades. If you do this, the grades will come. I'm excited for the semester and hope to make a lot of friends and keep the ones I have made so far. I really want to be myself and come to be comfortable with who I am instead of always being paranoid of what people think of me. I have lots of goals for the semester and hope to accomplish them all!

Wally World!

I'm officially done at Wal-Mart!! I'm not gonna lie.. I kinda miss it. I really like to work. I like good, hard labor. I'm weird, what can I say? The thing that sucks the most though is that I was just starting to make lots of friends and now I have to say bye! I went all summer without hanging out with anyone or really talking to anyone. Then all of a sudden things clicked with Abby and Amalia! Well.. Amalia and I have been friends since the first day I started there. We were friends, but we've gotten a lot closer than we were. Abby and I were friends, but as we worked together more and more we came to realize that we are basically JUST alike. It's quite scary at times. We finish each other's sentences and say the same thing at the same time. But don't give us Icee's.. we get a little crazy on those! We don't need no drugs.. just sugar! Amalia thinks we are weird..haha. The other people that I've worked with are Maria, Stella, Maggie, Lou, Edna, Michelle, Araceli, and Carmen. They have all been super sweet to me. On my last day they even got me a cake and a card and we partied it up in the lounge during my lunch break. Araceli even got me a little wooden hangy thingy-ma-bobber for my wall. I even started branching out and making friends with people from outside of the apparel department! haha. Robert in shoes, Franklin the cart pusher, James in toys, and the latest Xavier in electronics. Though we have talked about Xavier basically all summer, we just started talking TO him instead of just about him. At the beginning of the summer I couldn't wait for it to be over and to get back to school. Now.. things are different. I somewhat want to stay. I'm really nervous about school this semester. I'm still stoked to learn and such but I'm nervous about the whole friends and health thing. I pinky promised my sister that I wouldn't get a boyfriend this semester and I'm sticking to that! We'll see how the semester goes. Just gotta enjoy the journey and focus on living in the moment and not stressing about the future!!!

An update

So... I realized that its been a while since I updated. Steven is no more. We were good friends for a while after he dumped me, but now he refuses to talk to me. I'm not sure why I have such a hard time keeping friends, but I guess it only makes me stronger. This summer I have been working at walmart in the infant department. It has been interesting. The main thing I learned from this experience is that people are really dumb. My last day is Friday and then next week I'll be headin back up to Utah. I'm super excited, but nervous at the same time. I am determined to have a good semester and not get sick for once in my life. I also wanna make life long friends that won't ditch me like most of my other friends. Today I was thinking about how I want to die and I decided that I wanna die by gunshot in an ally way. And I want to die single. From what I have experience, most guys are just liars and jerks. I'm probably just bitter, but single sounds pretty bueno to me currently. If I stay single, I avoid the risk of getting hurt again.