Breathing: still on the nasal cannula at .5 a liter. We go up to 1 liter per minute with feeds. She is usually anywhere from 23%-30% oxygen.
Milestones: Liddy went 4 hours with no oxygen, she took 2 feedings completely by mouth, had her 2 month birthday!
Thoughts: Lydia is doing pretty well. She is stable which is what is important. The doctors are hopeful that she will get out by her due date which is in two weeks, but I'm not. I think we will be there about 4 more weeks. It seems like Lydia is going backwards. She was getting around 30 mls from me, but now she only gets around 8. Her breathing was better and she was down at 22-24% most of the time, but now she requires more. It is getting frustrating and I'm getting discouraged.
We had family home evening at the hospital with Lydia on Monday. It was really nice. Her little room feels so sacred. I have said so many prayers there and I know she is being watched over by angels at her bedside. I am so blessed in so many ways. I am so glad Thomas and I are both not going to school or working. We can spend all our time going to see our baby girl.
We started packing up some of our stuff this week. Some amazing people in the ward threw me a baby shower and my awesome siblings chipped in to get me a carseat. All of these things made it seem so much more real that some day I WILL have my baby at home. It is a little sad seeing our empty carseat every day, but I am glad we have it.
Heavenly Father is aware of me and my feelings, even if they are ridiculous. Sunday morning was a rough morning for me. I was really missing Lydia, none of my skirts would fit, and I just knew it was going to be a bad day. We went to church and there was a baby blessing... I go so jealous and depressed all at the same time. I didn't think I would make it through all of Sacrament meeting, but I did. Then when we went to the hospital, Lydia was off oxygen! It was just the boost I needed that day. It wasn't expected at all and it didn't last long, but I needed to see some sort of progress from her. It is hard because at first the weeks went by pretty fast and she was hitting huge milestones every week. Now the weeks drag on and it is harder to see any progress. She is just kind of plateauing. I feel like we are on the Lord's timing- when one day is equivalent to years.
I know I'm an emotional wreck a lot, but I just really love Lydia and I want her home with us.
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